A Safe Space to Explore Dying & Death on Your Own Terms
Tools, resources, and guidance for planning the end of life with dignity and intention — from advance directives to legacy planning.
When I Die…
“I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep,
not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.”
∼Bob Monkhouse, British Comedian (1928–2003)
He Wasn’t Just Joking.
Diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer in 2001, Bob Monkhouse kept performing—despite significant pain—because the stage was where he felt most alive. His final stand-up show was in August 2003, four months before his death. He died peacefully in his sleep at home in Bedfordshire on December 29, 2003, with his wife Jackie at his side.
But Monkhouse planned beyond his own death. His estate later produced a campaign featuring his digitally recreated likeness quipping from beside his own gravestone. It raised over £3 million for prostate cancer research.
He had the conversation. He worked as long as he could.
He set the conditions for his dying. He prepared.
Most of us have an idea how we would like to die,
where we would like to die,
whom we would like to have with us as we die.
Yet few of us document our wishes,
or name someone to speak for us when we can’t,
or even have a conversation with family or friends about dying.
The default death, for many, is in ICU connected to machines, in pain…often alone.
Start Your PlanKnow Your Rights
Understand your legal rights as a patient and the laws that protect your medical decisions.
Learn More →Plan Ahead
Step-by-step guidance for advance directives, POLST, and choosing your healthcare proxy.
Get Started →The Death Talk
How to have the crucial conversations with family about your wishes for care and dying.
Read More →Resources
Forms, books, and links for advance directives, DNR, POLST, and dementia addenda.
Browse Resources →Everyday Elders
Stories, advocacy, and resources for those caring for aging loved ones — and fighting for a just aging system.
Visit Everyday Elders →For Professionals
Guides and resources for death doulas, chaplains, and end-of-life care practitioners who support clients through planning.
Explore Resources →Our Work
Three interconnected efforts toward dignity and justice for elders and their caregivers.
Toward a Just Aging
A theological and justice framework challenging structural ageism — calling faith communities, institutions, and policy makers to account for how they treat their elders.
Everyday Elders →Just Aging on Substack →
Caregiver Liberation
Naming the truth about caregiving — the invisible labor, the exploitation, the grief — and building a movement for dignity and justice for those who care for elders.
Everyday Elders →Caregiver Liberation on Substack →
The Art of Dying Well
Practical tools for advance directives, POLST, medical proxy decisions, and honest conversations about dying on your own terms.
Art of Dying Well →The My Dying Wishes Series
by Richard T. Beeman
My Dying Wishes
How I Want to Be Treated as I Go and After I'm Gone
The comprehensive guide to advance care planning — covering medical decision-making, end-of-life preferences, and after-death wishes in plain language. For anyone ready to take charge of their own care.
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My Dying Wishes
A Companion Workbook
Step-by-step worksheets for documenting your health care proxy, treatment preferences, and personal values — in a format your family and providers can use alongside the main guide.
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After I'm Gone
Essential Information for My Family
A single source for the critical information survivors need — accounts, passwords, document locations, beneficiaries, contacts, and wishes — so your family isn't left searching after you're gone.
View on Amazon“This book makes the difficult topics of dying and death accessible and personal. It’s a gift to anyone who wants to face the end of life with clarity and intention.”— Fran Johns, author of Dying Unafraid